Yin and Yang

The brothers van are a riot. They are completely different in many ways, with the exception of their profound love of screeching and turning everything into a drum. John has been adjusting remarkably well to his new family and we couldn't be more pleased. Aside from a few night wake ups wanting to eat (he is still taking formula from a bottle - we are waiting a few weeks before attempting to wean) he has been sleeping very well. The first few nights after Paul came home were an nightmare. He refused to sleep in his crib and would scream like crazy unless someone was holding him AND moving. I lost several pounds circling the basement for hours singing "Jesus Loves Me" and "This Little Light of Mine" and CJ spotted the infamous black bear in our backyard at 4am (one of the highlight's of Paul's adoption story!). Not John. We learned not to even try the crib and instead have him set up in a pack in play in our bedroom. After getting sufficiently drowsy from the bottle, I place him in his bed and stay in the room until he falls asleep. Which he does with little to no fussing. Even tonight, when he was struggling to wind down, he was able to put himself to sleep. It took months before Paul was able to do that and even to this day he often needs reminders to settle down and go to sleep.
The other big difference lies in what CJ refers to as motivation. Paul has always been a mover and a shaker; he is a very determined problem solver who was ready to take on the world as soon as he was fully mobile (at 9 months old). John is very passive about things and will get frustrated when faced with a problem. It will be interesting to see how it all plays out as they get older. For now, I am just trying to keep my head above water and thinking about investing in a good pair of earplugs.

The van family three becomes four!

We left bright and early Wednesday morning for the big trip. Unfortunately I misread the flight departure time and got us there with over two hours to spare. CJ watched a movie and I tried to fill in some of John's adoption journal. Let's just say it's a good thing I have been recording some of the past two year's events on this blog because the journal contained a whopping two entries. After a slight delay on the plane, we arrived in the sweltering heat of NYC. A street thermometer read 104 degrees. No lie. We dropped our stuff off at the hotel, grabbed a sandwich from a nearby deli and headed to Times Square to take in a show. The walk from subway to ticket booth to theater was unbearably hot and we were grateful to spend a few hours in the cool air watching Promises, Promises. We grabbed a bite to eat at a Argentinian restaurant and then headed back to the hotel to refresh and wait.

Around 10 pm it was time to make our way to JFK. I felt we were pushing it a little close to the edge time wise (John's plane was due to arrive early, around 11:39) but I am glad we did not get there any sooner as the waiting area was smaller than the place we met Paul and had no seating in the direct line of view. When we got there the terminal was empty except for the other two waiting families. CJ regaled them with some of our previous pickup horror stories (in a fashion similar to a veteran mom telling stories of labor to a pregnant lady about to deliver) and tried to offer some advice. The place quickly filled up with passengers arriving from various destinations as we stared warily at the arrival information board awaiting our son's flight. My mouth was incredibly dry and I regretted the several glasses of tea I drank at the hotel in a effort to stay awake. CJ was the picture of calmness while I paced nervously. Finally the plane from San Franciso was at the gates and passengers began unloading. I spotted a Korean woman with a baby sling and tried to see if it was our son. One of the other waiting families was closer to the front and assumed it was their child (a daughter) based on the red outfit and tufts of hair. Tufts of hair? Wait, let's back up. The day before we left I received pictures in the mail from our social worker and learned that John possessed very long, wispy hair. So when I saw the hair I knew it was him. But the other family began video taping and taking pictures anyway. It was weird. Our greeter looked at his tags (the children are required to wear bracelets identifying them to avoid potential mix ups) and then looked at us. Yep. Our son. The escort approached us and I caught my first glimpse. He was sleeping peacefully against her chest. Aside from the hair, I noticed that he was chubby. Really chubby. And so darn cute! The escort passed him to me in his carrier and he woke up with a start. And immediately started crying. I knew this was coming and wasn't too shocked or upset. We were total strangers at this point and I'm sure we smelled funny. The escort spoke very good English (Paul's did not, she said maybe 2-3 words to us and took off) and told us how John did on the plane. She said he started to get so upset near the end of the flight that he had vomited several times. He continued to cry in my arms and threw up twice; once on my foot and once down my arm. Now CJ & I both struggle with barf and thankfully Paul has a stomach of steel. So we were both totally unprepared for the vomit. No spit up cloth, no paper towels. Thankfully, the escort and one of the other waiting moms (she said she has a barfer at home) helped clean me up. Unfortunately the smell got to me (it was all over his carrier and shirt at this point) and I felt pretty awful for the rest of the night. I know some people meet their children for the first time and it is love at first sight. I wish I could say that it was like that with my boys, but it is definitely a love that grows slowly. Between being an overly caffeinated nervous wreck and waiting to throw up, I wasn't quite ready for the love yet. But he is definitely our son and we are going to love him forever.

Being parents for the second time helped the transition process tremendously. During the cab ride home CJ busted out the Baby Einstein video and had John instantly transfixed. Back at the hotel we offered him puffs (ridiculously over priced and completely addictive to babies) and he was happy as a clam. CJ and J fell asleep watching the discovery channel and I nervously tossed and turned, worrying about the baby falling off the bed, worrying that we would miss our flight home, worrying about how things would change once we did get home. But we got home without a hitch; J had a blast walking through the airport and did wonderfully on the plane. We are learning that J is an incredibly mellow baby. He is the yin to P's yang. But more on that later.

The boy is coming, the boy is coming!

I had about reached my wits end waiting for the phone call. Seriously! We went out to Kim's house for 4th of July weekend to celebrate Karen's biannual visit, and she said it would just figure that we'd get the call after they left. My husband continued his mantra of, "I won't hold my breath" and I figured nothing would happen until at least Tuesday. Of course the 4th of July in Korea is simply another day on the calendar and Monday was not a holiday for them. Sure enough, I got a phone call around 10 am with a 516 area code. Previous to this moment I had made sure our social worker had her own ringtone so that I could begin an early freak out at the sound of the phone. When it rang and I saw the area code I thought, "nah... it's a holiday!" and even when the woman announced herself I thought, "They are probably just harassing me for some missing paperwork that was suddenly discovered or asking the same question that I have already answered 12 times." Nope. There was a single solitary social worker in the office and she just thought I would like to know that the flight information came through for our son. He is coming home on Wednesday. THIS Wednesday??? July 7???? My extremities began to tingle and then my entire body went numb. We have been waiting for this call for seven and a half months. It was fitting that it came on a holiday (and my sister-in-law's birthday!) seeing as we got the referral over Thanksgiving. And if the plane is delayed he will have the same gotcha date (minus four months) as Paul.

So the crazy preparations have begun. In fact I need to get offline so I can make some more phone calls and get packing! In the meantime I am left with a photo of my son from four months ago. I hope we recognize him when he gets off the plane!

Those Crazy vans!!

We never let an opportunity to dress up pass us by. Especially when it involves amusing accessories. So when our niece announced that she would be having a luau themed graduation party we were psyched. The invitation clearly stated to get grass skirts and coconut bikinis ready... and we did. Before leaving the house we decided to snap a few pics. They turned out somewhat amusing. First I had to take a pic of our darling ham all decked out in the too small Hawaiian outfit we bought for him three years ago on our trip to the Big Island. CJ tried to take some pics of me and the boy but, well, my husband likes the candid shots. So we gave the camera to Paul, resulting in us looking a bit like giants. "Isn't there a self-timer on this thing?"
"Yeah, it's right here." Once we figured out how to use the timer we just needed to line up the shot and coordinate our pose. Ahhh... perfect!

Everyone but us...

My darling husband is threatening to take the computer away if I don't stop stalking blogs and adoption forums in some vain effort to make myself feel better. (Which is obviously not working - I am a miserable mess!) I watch as family after family hears news of EP approvals and travel calls while we hear.... nothing.... The silence is KILLING ME!! I swear I must check my phone 18 million times a day. It was vibrating today after lunch and my heart stopped... until I saw it was the dentist's office reminding me of my upcoming cleaning. Sigh. It doesn't help that we are in week two of exams at school and I have finished my checklists, cleaned out my desk and just sit sit sit sit sit all day long with nothing to think about but my son, halfway around the world, waiting to come home. It also doesn't help that every five minutes someone asks me about if we've heard anything. Believe me, the WORLD will know when we get that call.

The Floor: Before and After

Recently CJ replaced the ugly yellow carpet in our living room/dining room with beautiful hardwood floors. It was a pretty big project and thankfully he had the help of my uncle's nail gun and a noisy new compressor to help. Paul did his share of supervising from a safe distance equipped with his safety goggles and ear protection. Sadly because my pics were destroyed in the virus, the only before picture I have is one I posted a while back on the blog. But it gives you the general idea. The carpet was in better shape than the stuff we had upstairs (which was immediately removed!) but it was still old, stained and smelly. So it had to go. CJ had wanted to replace it as one of the first house projects, but other things took priority. Needless to say he was overjoyed with the results.

World's Worst Blogger

Okay, so maybe that is an exaggeration, but I certainly haven’t been keeping up with my blog and for that I apologize. Here are my excuses: About a month ago we contracted a nasty virus that wiped out our hard drive and left me without a computer for nearly two weeks. When it was returned, stripped down to nothing, I was so depressed over the loss of my pictures and documents that I sulked about it. For a long time. In the meantime, school has been coming to a screeching halt and with it the stress of my impending unemployment. I have enjoyed a wonderful year as a long term substitute, but sadly the teacher whose place I temporarily filled decided to come back to work. And currently there are no prospects for September. So there was some more sulking. A lot. But I have resolved to keep plugging away in my attempt to become a permanent teacher once again and came to the conclusion that this bump in the road is a sign that I need to spend time with my boys. BoyS. Yes, there is still only one mini Van in the house and we have no idea when the second will arrive. Our social worker is being very tight lipped, claiming that the agency in Korea is not giving her any information. The reason I find that hard to believe is because I regularly stalk the adoption message board and several blogs of families on the same timeline (adopting through the same Korean agency) and they all seem to know WAY more than we do. In a nutshell – two batches of EPs (emigration permission: what the kiddos need to travel to the US) were submitted in May. The first batch was made up of referrals from November, the second contained referrals from December. We received our referral in late November, so I figure if the other boy did not make it into the first batch; he would surely be in the second. I learned last night that all of the families in batch one received their travel calls. So we wait with baited breath. I asked point blank if he was in batch two and was told that the Korean agency does not release that information to families. No, apparently they just don’t release it to us. Otherwise how the (bleep) does every other waiting family seem to know the status of their child’s EP?!?! Honestly. It’s okay really because we haven’t done a thing to get his room ready other than buy the can of paint. Hubby says he refuses to move the furniture and paint until we get the call, which he does not believe will be anytime soon. Meanwhile my mother is willing it to happen more than I have ever seen her will anything. And the woman has power. Give her a handful of rosaries and she will guarantee sunshine. No lie. My suggestion to the Korean government is that they should probably get that kid on a plane ASAP.