For the love of music???

Earlier this week I took Paul to a high school wind ensemble concert. It was not his first classical music concert - we have been to several performances of the local symphony (they try to incorporate kid-friendly music into their shows) but it left me wondering if I should keep bringing him to shows. Paul LOVES drums and has been known to sit transfixed when a piece is heavy on the rhythm. The problem is that if a piece is dark or slow or really long, he loses interest. And patience. And starts to fidget. A lot. Now I know he is only four (almost) and has a limited attention span, but I have seen other kids his age sit through performances without having to climb all over everything and bang their feet against the seat. Each time we go to a concert I have mixed emotions. I become painfully embarrassed when he acts out and wonder why I bother bringing him. But then there are moments when he is sitting completely still and completely in awe of the music. Take Thursday night's concert for example. He turned to me after one of the songs and said, "THAT WAS FANTASTIC!" So we will keep trying. Tomorrow we are headed to see a high school musical and I hope Paul will enjoy it (and behave). Last year we tried and he spent a good part of the second act in the hallway. Someone suggested exposing him to the music first. We had a wonderful jam session to the songs of Joseph & the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat yesterday after school and plan to hold one again this afternoon. Hope it helps.

Identity crisis

This would be something to which my mother would respond, "Oh, it's all in your head." But it's bothering me, and no one judges in cyber space (well, at least not on my blog), so here it is. Yesterday we took Paul to a children's museum. It was very crowded. He impulsively ran from thing to thing, rarely pausing to check if I was following him. Okay, never pausing to check if I was following him. Whenever we are in places like museums, I get a lot of exercise. And a lot of looks. Transracial families are everywhere, right? But when my Asian son runs into a room seemingly unsupervised (I am chasing him as fast as I can), people look around for the Asian mom. And she's not there. I am. "Are you the mother?" No wait. I usually get, "Are you with him?" Yes, I'm his date for the evening. Of course I am - why do you think I am out of breath? Then I wonder. If he was white (or I was not) would people still ask me that? I look around for other children running with wild abandon into unknown situations to see if their mothers' identities are in question. Nope, just mine. Maybe it is in my head. I know Paul doesn't care. "I have brown eyes like you mommy. And black hair like Papa." I guess I need to focus on that innocence and stop worrying about what other people think. Ah, crud now I do sound like my mother.

My cake obsession

It's become a tradition. An expectation. A challenge that I obsess over for 6+ months. The BIRTHDAY CAKE. For Paul's 2nd birthday it was Elmo (and the launching of this blog). I was told it couldn't be done. I am just not a cake person. HA. For his 3rd birthday it was a bulldozer. And thanks to an awesome design by Amy, another huge success. Soon after he turned 3, Paul begin to shift his sites from trucks to music. He wanted a guitar cake. I started sketching. Then one day he announced he would rather have a drum set cake. Not a drum cake, a DRUM SET cake. I searched google images. I tried to envision it. Paul began setting unrealistic parameters. Multiple drums. Silver cymbals. Blue icing. I refused to let that stop me. A few days ago we began the official paper link countdown. His excitement grew. My stress grew. How on Earth am I going to pull this off? Today, steps were taken. I stood in the cake aisle at Michael's and tried not to get completely overwhelmed. I finally started to visualize the drum set. My biggest dilemma - how on earth am I going to create something thin enough to look like a high hat, yet strong enough to not crumble into pieces when propped up?? how will I prop it up??? and make it silver??????
My ever so supportive husband's thoughts? "Are you going to go this nuts over the birthday cake EVERY YEAR??" ummmmmmm....

The Trifecta

The subject of poop has become all too common at our house over the past few weeks. I am sorry to say that it reached levels of unhealthy obsession that involved extended family members as well. A few weeks before vacation, Paul waited too long to go and ended up having a very painful experience. He then decided he was going to avoid the situation for as long as possible, which of course only made things worse. When we were on vacation the problem escalated and we tried desperately to get him back on track. Unfortunately, the more we encouraged (okay, pushed) him to go, the more he resisted. I had flashbacks of the days when my mother would send me into the bathroom with a jar full of raisins and I knew that this experience was punishment for my stubborn behavior as a child. Eventually, after a knock-down drag out temper tantrum worse that anything he did as a two year old, we realized he was not going to relent. I officially threw in the towel. My wise husband advised me to just let him be. The combination of extra fiber, some mild medicinal assistance and the decision to just ignore the issue resulted in success. However, we discovered something about our son. There are three things that cause most clashes in the van household: Eating, Napping, and Pooping. CJ refers to it as the Trifecta because Paul does not seem able to manage all three in a given day. While the poop struggle was taking place, he was doing a great job eating (we had no idea where he was storing it all) and napping every day. Now that the pooping is somewhat regulated, the napping has gone out the window. Yesterday he napped and pooped, but fussed at the dinner table and refused to eat. It's an odd phenomenon. But now that we've accepted it, hopefully there will be fewer arguments. I never thought I would go head to head with someone more stubborn that myself.

Our little traveler

Returning from our recent trip to Florida, hubby commented on the fact that our boy has traveled more than the two of us combined when we were his age (not counting his initial flight from SK). He has been out to CA twice and now FL twice before the age of four. Thankfully he is a good traveler. Our earlier flights were a bit rough, but now that his focus can be held by videos and sticker books he is much calmer. It helps that I am calmer now too!! Of course one of the thoughts that ran through my mind as we passed through security and wandered around the parks was, "How will this be with two kids?" I find myself thinking about that a lot lately. It will be a while before we do any major traveling with both boys, but I am hoping to do some camping this summer. Hubby thinks that is crazy. I was very thankful to have some great 1-1 time with Paul during the trip. We are all very excited to have John join the family, but I can't help being nervous about how he will change the family dynamic.

The weight of the wait

There is not much new in the world of "waiting for John", but seeing as a few people have asked for updates, I will fill my blogger audience in with what little information I do have. CJ & I were both able to get our fingerprints done before the holidays. Phew! I had planned to keep things quiet at work until the arrival date was closer but, well, me & secrets don't get along all that well and I spilled the beans at our holiday party. And of course had to tell my principal in order to get permission to leave early for fingerprinting. Ah, yes.... fingerprinting...
So off I jetted a million miles an hour to get to the immigration office, thankfully finding a parking spot on the second trip around the block and only getting slightly held-up at the security check. However my 10 minutes to close arrival did not please the fingerprinting lady who grumpily yelled at some poor kid on his cell phone who was just trying to navigate the entrance form. Honestly, I have spoken English all my life and have a hard time with the immigration forms - I cannot imagine how difficult it must be for people with limited English. I tried to be as pleasant as possible in an effort to keep her from squashing my fingers and made jokes about how I was an expert in having my prints taken. She was only mildly amused. BUT, the fingerprints are DONE, and we have officially been approved to bring an immigrant into the country. Woo-hoo! We found out after the fact of course that we didn't need to pay a second fee and I have been trying to get it reimbursed (HA. HAHAHA.) without any luck thus far.
That's the good news.
The bad news is that the agency in Korea has decided they will not be giving us any medical updates or new photos between now and homecoming. The photo thing is a disappointment, but not a surprise because it was the same way with Paul. Thankfully his foster mother took a lot of pictures and arranged them in a nice album that was sent home on the plane. But the medical updates?? Part of the reason we were so happy with the Korean adoption process was the monthly medical updates - it is so wonderful to hear that your child is developing well and to see what he is doing each month. 6-12 months is such a speedy time for development and not only are we missing seeing it in person, but now we don't even get to enjoy it vicariously!! It makes me want to cry.
In the meantime I am working on a package to send to John and his foster family in hopes that they might at least send a letter back saying he is doing well. Until then - what I know, you know. Stay tuned.

The Christmas season: part 2

Vacation. It began on Wednesday evening, December 23. My SIL arranged for a professional photo of all the cousins. The evening started out pretty poorly, with both Paul & mommy having temper tantrums at the studio.... but eventually things turned around and the pictures turned out pretty cute. Paul actually smiled this year!

For Christmas Eve we travelled to my sister's house and enjoyed a fun day of food, laughter and gifts. Paul enjoyed spending time with "My Mitch" - playing video games, acting goofy and having guitar jam sessions. Despite the fact that he enthusiastically announced, "I CAN'T BELIEVE IT" when opening his first gift (socks), his favorite gifts were a guitar and keyboard complete with microphone and recordable "Ipod". What can I say? The boy is a rock star.

From my sister's house we rushed back home to go to our church's Christmas Eve service. It was very nice. We enjoyed singing Christmas carols and had to laugh when Paul belted out the first line to "Joy to the World" before the rest of the congregation. After church we headed to my aunt and uncle's house for a quick visit with my mom's family. Paul was a bit overtired at this point and in all-out goofball mode. He entertained my cousins with rounds of "Jingle Bells" and his over the top reaction to a gift: "IT'S WHAT I WANTED - A DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT!" (Pretend doctor's kit) Thankfully we were able to use the lure of Santa's late night visit to quickly coerce our overtired boy into sleep mode.

Christmas morning was spent unwrapping more gifts and enjoying a second year tradition of Belgian waffles with Grandma & Papa. Then it was off to celebrate with CJ's family. Paul had a great time with his cousins and the older crowd enjoyed staying up late playing board games.

The whirlwind did not end there!! The following day we got to connect with an old high school friend and on Sunday we hosted a party for my dad's family. Phew!!