Being a full time SAHM is lonely. Without a job to go to every day and interact with other adults, it becomes difficult to, well, meet other adults. I try to take Paul to the library, playground, zoo, etc. and make small talk with other mothers, but it generally does not progress past the casual conversation. I find myself feeling strange, like this is some sort of club that I don't really belong to. So I joined this online mom's forum, where I could remain comfortably anonymous and still interact with other people. It is local, and I figured if I met someone interesting that we could meet in person and have a play date. After a few failed attempts, I finally had my first "mom date" this morning. I call it this because it felt a little like a blind date. I worried about whether or not we'd recognize each other, what she would think of me, whether or not my son would behave himself.
I got there and saw a woman who I though might be my "date" but she didn't make eye contact. After about ten minutes we started making conversation. I heard her call her daughter's name, which was, coincidentally, the name of the daughter of the woman I was scheduled to meet. Hmm... I mentioned this. Ah-ha. She was indeed my mom date. Turns out she is a very nice person, and Paul & her daughter got along well, even exchanged a nice hug. As lunch time grew closer, I found myself feeling, once again, like I was on a blind date. Did she like us? Would she give me her number, so we could have another play date? What exactly is the etiquette in these situations?
Navigating friendships via motherhood is proving to be tricky, but hopefully I will find some new friends for both myself and Paul. In the meantime I am thankful to those friends who, though far away, are close in my heart.