Wednesday, November 5, 2008

A rose by any other name

November 8th is quickly approaching. It is an ordinary day for most folks but a rather significant day for the van family because it marks the anniversary of when we went from two members to three. This particular day of celebration is called a variety of things in the adoption community, and I am struggling with what to use for our family. Here are some popular choices along with my views:

  • "Gotcha Day" Okay, this one is pretty cute and all, but it seems a little, well, like we snatched our child out of a dark alley in the middle of the night. Yes, he did appear as if we had snatched him that first night we met - that look of "how dare you take me away from the only family I've known, send me on a ridiculously long plane trip and hand me over to these strange smelling people!!!" But when I think about that meeting, I try to forget that look. I try to forget the five hour drive home during which he screamed inconsolably. I try to remember instead the feeling of WOW. MOTHERHOOD. MY SON. Gotcha Day just doesn't seem to cover that.
  • "Family Day" I like this one a lot because we did indeed become a family that night, although he was not legally a van until the following October. My problem, however, is twofold. I feel that CJ & I became a family the day we got married, and when we add #4 to the mix, what will we call his/her day? Hmmmm...
  • "Adoption Day" Technically October 13th, not November 8th.
  • "Homecoming" or "Coming Home Day" I don't know, Homecoming sounds too much like there should be a football game and a king and queen. And honestly, I'm sure Paul did not feel like he was heading "home" at the time.
  • "Arrival Day" Accurate and doesn't hold any negative connotations, but not a whole lot of emotional bang to it.

I am open to thoughts/suggestions from any one out there with an opinion on the matter. Being the procrastinator that I am, I also need ideas for how to celebrate. Last year we took Paul out to dinner at the Olive Garden. He was miserable because he was coming down with a cold. Two days later we ended up in the ER after he had a febrile seizure. Hoping this year has a bit less drama.

1 comment:

elsny said...

I can totally relate to this problem! We struggled with the nomenclature as well - and settled on Family Day. 10/23 is "Bean's Family Day" xx/xx/200million will be "Sister's Family Day" - so that is how we sorted it out.

To be honest, even "Bean's Family Day" is not accurate, as she did have a family in China before we met her. When she gets older I might change it to just plain "Bean Day", but for now, we will stick with what we are doing - celebrating how lucky we are to have met her. Even though she was miserable that day - we talk about that too. I want her to understand what we are marking.

I don't have any great suggestions for celebrations - maybe ask him where/what he wants to eat? We did our travel group reunion as the big celebration. I think you read that her "treat" was three tic-tacs after dinner. Go Mom - that mother of the year award should be here any day (snort)

Anyway - happy whateveryouendupcalling it day! Hoping this year's festivities require less medical intervention.